Do the Word

In 1998, a Robert Redford movie introduced the term “horse whisperer” into common parlance.

In 2010, we are well past due for introducing the term “donor whisperer” into not only our fundraising vocabulary but our practice as well.

First, a quick turn to Wikipedia to get our term on the table:

A horse whisperer is a horse trainer who adopts a sympathetic view of the motives, needs, and desires of the horse, based on natural horsemanship and modern equine psychology. The term goes back to the early nineteenth century when an Irish horseman, Daniel Sullivan, made a name for himself in England by rehabilitating horses that had become vicious and intractable due to abuse or accidental trauma.

Sullivan kept his methods secret, but people who managed to observe him noticed that he would stand face to face with the troubled horse. They seemed to think that he must be saying something to the horse in a way the horse could understand and accept because the horses were quickly gentled by his mysterious techniques.

No less mysterious today: A development officer who adopts a genuinely sympathetic view of the motives, needs, and desires of the donor.

Lesson one for aspiring donor whisperers:

Listen more than you talk.

Gail Perry’s Guidestar piece on increasing donations by 39% by calling (or, better yet, notes Gail, having board members call) to thank donors is a great post. But the best part of the post comes midway down the text and will be missed by many readers:

If your board members are adventurous, they can ask the donor why he/she chose to make this gift. They can pull out the donor’s story—and the donor will be even more pleased and honored.

For tips on effective listening, check out Simon Sinek’s recent post on the subject:

At its most effective level, however, listening goes far beyond simply paying attention. Becoming a “good listener” is a skill that requires practice. At this level, listening means trying to find meaning in what you hear. It is not simply about concentrating on what is being said to you; it is the active pursuit of understanding.

Trying to find meaning in what you hear–that’s a profound command for those of us working with donors. Sinek suggests that one of the best practices in enabling us to find meaning in what we hear is asking specific questions:

Don’t simply ask, “What do you mean by that?” after every statement someone makes. That’s frustrating for the person talking to you and it still relies on them to find the right words. Ask questions specific to the things they say. For example, if someone says, “I want to be a doctor,” instead of asking why they want to be a doctor, ask them what kind of doctor they want to be. When they answer, ask them what it is about that specialty that interests them. Very quickly you will get a much clearer picture of the kind of person this is and what their strengths are just from listening closely and asking pointed questions.

I like to do role playing with executive directors and development directors. One of my favorite role plays is “Call the donor”. I play the donor, and the ED or DD places the call. Since they’ve previously received coaching from me on asking questions to donors, they try to put that into practice right away. Challenge is, when I-as-donor respond, no matter what I say, the ED/DD will usually respond by saying, “Great, great. That’s great.”

Why does this happen?

Nerves, likely. Lack of practice is undoubtedly part of it.

But I think an even more likely explanation is that we lack a deep and abiding curiosity in our donors. We aren’t prepared to encounter them as fascinating people who are on a journey to make meaning, working out certain things in their life as they seek to make a difference in and for themselves, the world, God, their families, and those they meet.

If we felt that way, we’d ask questions quite naturally. And we’d listen intently to what our donors say in reply.

This is why nearly as long as I’ve been in fundraising, I’ve chosen not to start a thank you call by saying thank you. Instead, I say, “Hi, Mrs. Jones. Eric Foley at Seoul USA. Just wanted to let you know we got the check you sent in the mail. And I had to ask: What were you thinking???”

Seriously. That’s exactly what I do. This causes the person to laugh nervously at first, but I’ve never had anyone hang up or be offended.

I have, however, had nearly two decades and counting of fascinating conversations with donors as a result.

When do your donors feel most fully alive in relation to the cause about which you are both so passionate?

Odds on we nonprofit leaders are deluding ourselves if we think donors would ever actually say any of the following in their answer to that question:

• “As a donor, I feel most fully alive in relation to the cause when I receive the annual calendar from the nonprofit I support. No, it’s when I receive their address labels. Oh, it’s a toss-up; they both jazz me greatly.”
• “As a donor, I feel most fully alive in relation to the cause when I receive a report detailing the impact that the nonprofit I support is having. I’m so excited that my money is really making a difference.”
• “As a donor, I feel most fully alive in relation to the cause when my nonprofit tells me what a huge impact I am having by supporting them.”

I love Care 2’s Jocelyn Harmon‘s comment about her grandmother on her recent blog post on passion and nonprofits:

Before my grandmother died, she told me that the time that she felt most alive in her life was during the Civil Rights Movement.  I was surprised by this statement.  After all, she had four amazing daughters and five amazing grandchildren in her lifetime (including me!).  Yet, it was helping to end American Apartheid that moved her to the core.  That ignited her passion.

My grandmother was an amazing woman but her longings and desire to connect to something bigger than herself are quite ordinary.

It would be great to hear from Jocelyn exactly how her grandmother was involved in the Civil Rights Movement. Something tells me that she was doing more than sending in checks in response to fundraising appeals. As Jocelyn quickly notes in her post, donors are not a different species from nonprofit leaders; after all, both want to make history:

Look around and you will see this desire expressed in many ways.  Some people attend churches or mosques or temples.  Others take drugs.  All you have to do is witness our cultural obsession withAmerican Idol to understand our collective longing to “touch the stars” and experience largess.

As nonprofit leaders and movement builders we have an amazing privilege and opportunity to help people connect to this powerful, yet basic human desire.  We can be that vehicle for our volunteers, donors, employees, board members and clients to connect to greatness.  We can help them “make history.”

[Editor’s note: That’s the second post in a row where we’ve heard the nonprofit referred to positively as a vehicle for its constituents. Would that this portends a trend.]

I wholeheartedly endorse Jocelyn’s admonition that time spent helping our constituents to make history using us as the platform is time well spent–a far better expenditure than merely time spent on running operations well for the nonprofit (which these days is really just the price of entry):

The problem is we can’t do this if we spend all of our time focused on the minutiae of running our organizations.  While budgets must be managed, programs must be evaluated, and people must be hired and fired, we must also set aside time for the organization and it’s constituents to DREAM.

When do you induce dreaming in your constituents?

• At your fundraising banquet are you casting a vision for them as cause-drivers…or as supporters for your vision?
• In your fundraising letters are you urging them to dream big about the impact they can make…or are you urging them simply to write a big check?
• In your personal interactions with them, how much of your time is spent discussing their impact on the cause…not just your own?

In The Last Station, the new movie on the life of Leo Tolstoy, there is a fantastic scene where Tolstoy–then the most celebrated writer on the planet–greets his new secretary, Valentin, brushing aside Valentin’s questions and instead asking, “Now, tell me how your work is coming along.” Valentin, a young man of 23, is fairly well dumbstruck not only to be in the presence of such greatness but to have such greatness asking him questions about his work and wellbeing. Tolstoy misinterprets Valentin’s tearful silence as a sign that he has done something to disturb his new secretary, but Valentin quickly corrects him. “It’s just that you are Leo Tolstoy,” he says, “and I am no one, and yet you are asking me about my work.”

Why does that never happen in a donor meeting?

“I have a goal of uniting the entire community of Abu Dhabi — the expats, the locals, the NGOs, the corporate sector, government interests and the diplomatic corps in service and humanitarian care,” she said. “The Salvation Army is a perfect vehicle for achieving that.”

The “she” here is donor Pamela Abdallah, subject of a tremendous piece by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Ann Rodgers, which came to my attention via the good folks at the Duke Divinity Call & Response blog.

And the last sentence of the above quote is sheer nonprofit shockwave:

If the Salvation Army is the vehicle…then that makes donor Abdallah the driver.

And what a driver she is. As Rodgers details, Abdallah has been a virtual nonprofit organization since arriving in the United Arab Emirates since 2008.

Note that I didn’t say a virtual one woman nonprofit organization, because more than most nonprofits I know, Abdallah networks by nature:

When the couple moved to Abu Dhabi in 2008, Ms. Abdalla found no place for her legal skills in the Islamic court system. She decided to focus on volunteer work. While talking with an Anglican priest about unmet needs in Abu Dhabi, she learned about the runaway housemaids and the labor camps.

She had seen Indian and Pakistani men in orange jumpsuits cleaning streets in 115-degree heat while she drove past in air-conditioned comfort. Most construction and maintenance in Abu Dhabi is done by migrant laborers from South Asia, who live in camps about 20 miles outside the city, she said. Deplorable camp conditions made the news in the Emirates, and reforms were under way before she got there. Still, the migrants work 12 hours a day, six days a week, for low wages, and sleep in grim barracks.

She began to visit and bring supplies to a women’s camp. Her first big project took place during the Islamic holy month of Ramadan, in which a daylight fast is broken at sundown with a meal called iftar.

She persuaded a five-star hotel to supply a special iftar meal to the 200 women in the camp. Six truckloads of food were delivered. Ms. Abdalla organized 20 expatriate volunteers to serve and clean up.

Next came worker bus raids:

With the help of a male journalist, she surveyed two busloads of workers who were dropped off daily near her children’s school about what they would most like to eat. The winner was Kentucy Fried Chicken Twisters, a chicken wrap that the laborers could rarely afford.

Students at the American school held bake sales to raise money to buy the wraps. The teens organized the surprise delivery of a Twister, an apple and a bottle of cold water for 150 men. The workers were overjoyed, and the Emirates’ major newspaper covered it.

“My goal is to continue raiding buses at various locations throughout the city until a mystique builds around it and the workers begin wondering among themselves where those raiders will show up next,” she said.

As Mrs. Abdallah did her work, she sensed the need for a broader platform to support it. Enter the Salvation Army, whom she took the initiative to summon:

From the beginning she has prayed for the Salvation Army to bring its tremendous resources to Abu Dhabi. She wrote to officers she knew, urging them to come.

One day, out of the blue, she saw a banner at the Anglican Church where she worships, announcing the Salvation Army’s presence in Abu Dhabi.

Two days later she met Maj. Mike Hawley, who asked how the Army could help migrant workers. She told him about two bedbug-infested sofas in the safe house. Within a day he gave her $2,000 to buy new, pest-proof vinyl sofas.

Notice how when the Salvation Army arrived, Mrs. Abdallah didn’t fall back into the role of supporter, eagerly awaiting their appeal letters so she could respond to their agenda-setting programs. Instead, she set their agenda. And now she plans to recruit people into the Salvation Army–not through their donations but through encouraging them to volunteer and through serving them via Salvation Army programs.

Now here’s the million dollar question (literally):

Given that we know that 84% of donors prefer to be solicited by folks they know, in a future where individuals like Mrs. Abdallah draw on nonprofits as vehicles–rather than being philanthropists studiously reviewing funding proposals from nonprofits in order to determine which nonprofit is having the greatest social impact–who are the people in Mrs. Abdallah’s sphere of influence more likely to give to: Mrs. Abdallah or charities with compelling proposals?

The answer is pretty clear, less so how nonprofits should respond. Should they:

• A: Assume that Mrs. Abdallah is the exception to the rule and proceed with business (er, charity) as usual?
• B: Assume that Mrs. Abdallah is a notable exception (one of the 20% of donors who will be missionaries for your shared cause) and equip her as a special case?
• C: Assume that Mrs. Abdallah is typical of the role donors will seek to play in the future in relation to the causes they love and seek assistance from others like her who can help reshape the nonprofit as an effective platform to support her?

My gut tells me that the majority of nonprofits will answer A, noting, “Our donors aren’t like Mrs. Abdallah at all”. My gut further tells me that the supposedly progressive nonprofits will answer B and thus not change fundamentally, since, as you’ll notice, B still has the nonprofit in the rule of Arbiter Of The Cause.

Finally, my gut tells me that nonprofits who answer C will increasingly thrive in the days to come. Kudos to Salvation Army for choosing this option and appointing Mrs. Abdallah to the chairmanship of their Middle East Advisory Board.

After all, a vehicle should always appreciate a skillful driver.