Four Elements for Every Discipleship Conversation

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Pastor Foley

Part IX of our series on Making Disciples

We’ve been talking this week about what discipleship is not.

First, we talked about how it is not therapy. As important as it may be to respond to people’s needs, which Jesus often did, he didn’t call that discipleship.  Teaching others to obey everything he commanded is how he defined discipleship.

Which, of course, means it cannot be spontaneous.  Discipleship must follow a plan: not just for what to talk about, but who to talk about it with.  It requires more than just a table by the window at Starbucks.

Today, I want to suggest some elements of such a plan with the help of D. Michael Henderson, an author and discipler whom I’ve quoted and made reference to repeatedly this week.

He suggests a predictable and manageable four-step process for conveying discipleship curriculum.  

This process is designed to keep conversations focused on pouring out and receiving the philanthropy of Christ rather than devolving into relationship chatter or—equally dangerously—endless introspection.  Despite the obviously strong application this process has for things like management and human development, our focus is on how this process characterized Jesus’ relationships with people and how those who are serious about discipleship will follow suit.

Here are four elements that every discipleship conversation should contain:

  1. A clear goal.  You don’t get to just pick one. The overarching goal is “and teach them to obey everything I’ve commanded you.” So the goal of every discipleship conversation needs to be a subset of that.
  2. Shared information which relates to that goal. Discipleship has real content. Teach specific, Scriptural command. Nothing fancy. Nothing cute. Just straight discipleship from the pages of Scripture.
  3. Strengthening of the relationship. Discipleship is more than information. Remember what we learned about Elijah and Elisha? Elisha learned by living with Elijah and following him around. That’s more than a standing weekly at Panera Bread.
  4. Agreement on the next steps toward the goal.  “Go and sin no more” is best understood, not as a platitude, but as a prescription. What’s the plan to do the word that the discipleship just heard you share from Scripture? (“That’s deep—thanks for sharing” is not a plan!)

And Henderson points out that the discipleship continues even when the conversation is over:

“The most effective conversations share information before, during, and after the conversation itself. The people who make the most difference in other people’s lives are constantly sending each other supplementary material: books, articles, quotations, personal notes, tapes, or reports.

People who are good at this follow up their discussion with a note that reaffirms their discussion, perhaps with an enclosure—an article, a photo, or a news clipping. And, just as often, they send some information prior to actually meeting:

‘John, you mentioned your interest in serving the poor in our own community. Here’s an article on Neighborhood Networks that might give you some ideas. We can discuss it when we meet on Tuesday.'”

This requires a level of planning and diligence on the part of the teacher to undertake a curriculum at this level of intentionality, direction, and rigor.

But perhaps you’re questioning whether you have the time to invest in someone’s life that way.  You have responsibilities at work, home, the gym, and your kid’s school.  Not to mention a hobby, church on Sundays, and a small group.

You’re right. You probably don’t have that kind of time. Better go and bury your father first.

Jesus will understand, I’m sure.

Are there elements of a discipleship conversation you would add or take away from this list?

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Discipleship Is Not Spontaneous

Posted on October 26, 2011 by Pastor Foley

Part VIII of our series on Making Disciples

We started off talking in our last post about the importance of an “aggressive, comprehensive, systematic plan for discipleship” before discussing the differences between therapy and discipleship.

Today, I want to start off by admonishing every Christian disciple-maker with this:

Don’t be spontaneous when it comes to discipleship.

This is not only the advice given by D. Michael Henderson, one of my favorite disciplers, it’s also spot on biblical.

Why do we learn the Nicene Creed? Because it is the church’s “bookshelf”—if someone gives you a “book” (some kind of theological truth) and it doesn’t fit on that bookshelf, then reject it; it’s not part of the “everything I have commanded you” that Jesus said forms the curriculum of discipleship. So Henderson says:

Regarding the subject of conversations, in one of my classes a student objected to what he considered regimentation of discussions.

“I just like to be free to talk about whatever comes up,” he said. “I don’t like to be bound by rules. I want to say whatever comes to my mind.”

To which I answered: “It’s not all about you.”

Lots of people want to talk, and they do. They drone on and on about whatever strikes their fancy. But self-centered conversations don’t accomplish much.

If we want to serve God first, others second, and ourselves last, we need to shape the direction of our discourse. 

Denying ourselves the ability to dwell on the daily duties of life and instead focus on the deep, voluntary duties of discipleship is a recurring theme for both Jesus and Paul. Like in Luke 9:57-62:

As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”

To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

What sets the agenda in discipleship, according to Jesus?

  • Death does not.
  • Family obligations do not.
  • Personal doubts or religious questions do not.
  • Physical needs do not.

“Follow me,” says Jesus. “This is the Jesus Medical School of Discipleship. Today we study the circulatory system. You don’t want to study the circulatory system? You’d rather study muscles? Too bad. I know how to make you a doctor, so you’re going to need to follow my curriculum, not your interests or needs or wishes.”

That’s how Jesus rolls, and that’s discipleship.

So let’s switch gears and talk a bit about who we should be discipling.  Chances are, you’re not going to have people dropping out of the sky saying, “Hi.  I’d like to be discipled.”

Not even Jesus or the disciples had that.  But something they did have – and which we have, too – is friends, family members and neighbors. Remember the Gesarene demoniac? Jesus stopped him from getting in the boat and going with the disciples to disciple those who would have been complete strangers to him. Jesus says, “You have people to disciple here, Mr. Former Demoniac.”

That’s not an unusual exception. That’s the core of Jesus’ discipleship strategy!

Henderson puts it like this:

The method Jesus taught us is simple: help our friends follow Him. Encourage them to put into practice all He taught us about the kingdom of God. Jesus built His instructional system on the basis of His own personal friendships. He chose men to be His followers who were not only His friends but also already friends, relatives, and neighbors of each other. They were bound together by ties of familiarity, blood relationships, and hearty companionship—and most of them worked together every day.

Think about that. Jesus called as his disciples people from among his neighbors in Galilee. He did not seek out the super-spiritual. He simply shared with those who were already around him.

“Yes, but Pastor Foley, no one around me is jumping up and down for Jesus. Clearly no one in my sphere of influence wants to be discipled.” And James and John and Peter were super-spiritual Jesus-jumpers before Jesus recruited them by going aboard their boats?

Don’t discount that God has already given you a bumper crop of people to disciple.

“Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’” (Matthew 9:37-39)

In Jesus’ view, there is not a shortage of people interested in being discipled.  Or therapists.  Or even tables by the window at Starbucks.  There’s a shortage of disciplers.

Do you think most discipleship efforts tend towards being spontaneous?  What elements might need to be put in place to avoid “spontaneous discipleship”?

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The Difference Between Discipleship and Therapy

Posted on October 24, 2011 by Pastor Foley

Part VII of our series on Making Disciples

If we could sum up the previous six posts and distill from them one major point, it would be this: equipping others to grow to fullness in Christ under the power of the Holy Spirit requires an “aggressive, comprehensive, systematic plan for discipleship.”

Those are the words of D. Michael Henderson, one of my favorite aggressive, comprehensive, systematic disciplers. A trainer of African church leaders and author of several excellent books on discipleship, Henderson says that discipling people is best understood as a curriculum in the truest sense of the word:

“Curriculum is a Latin word that means ‘racetrack.’ A racetrack has some basic elements: a starting point, a finish line, boundaries, and rules. Educational experts describe a curriculum in terms of its scope and sequence, that is, the range of material or skills to be mastered and the order. In most cases, a curriculum is a set of ordered steps toward a predetermined goal.”

Question: Is curriculum just for schoolteachers and educational experts or does it describe a genuinely biblical process?

Answer: It’s the Great Commission! It’s Matthew 28:20!

As we talked about last week, Jesus’ final words to the disciples before ascending into heaven in Matthew were in Matthew 28:20, “and teach them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

Notice that that’s something more than, “and share with them the plan of salvation,” or “and lead them to a saving knowledge of me.”He says, “Teach them to obey everything  I have commanded you.” There’s 28 chapters of everything, friend. And teaching it requires an aggressive, comprehensive, systematic plan.

Sadly, however, most of us have a discipleship plan that goes something like this:

  • Step 1: Listen sympathetically as a friend shares what they’re experiencing in life.
  • Step 2: Offer a relevant Bible story or Scripture to encourage or even challenge them a little bit.
  • Step 3: Repeat Step 1.

Do you see how this approach ends up being driven by the student’s needs and life and problems? Do you see how that’s not a fulfillment of the Great Commission command to “teach them to obey everything”?

Jesus was very responsive to people’s needs. But that’s not what he called discipleship.

Discipleship is not the process of meeting people’s needs. It’s the process of learning to obey everything Christ commands. And if you’re a discipler whose discipleship agenda is set by your student, you’re not going to achieve that.

Brian Eckhardt, the General Superintendent of the Evangelical Church, says it’s like being a student in medical school. If a student enrolled in medical school, it’s pretty much a given that the curriculum is not going to be set by his interests.

“Yeah, I’m not really interested in learning about the circulatory system. I’m really much more interested in starting with the muscle tissue, because I have this really sore back, and…”

Huh?

This would never happen in a medical school, but it happens all the time in Christian discipleship. The teacher ends up acting as a counselor, and the discipleship relationship ends up being therapy.

Therapy is not discipleship. In fact, it’s the opposite.

In discipleship the teacher sets the agenda and makes sure to teach everything Christ has commanded. But in the backward process, the student sets the agenda and the teacher becomes a dispenser of advice—like a Pez dispenser only with advice coming out. Like Christ is a Magic 8 Ball.  Remember those? Have a problem in life? Shake the Magic 8 ball and see what the answer is.

“Maybe.”

“Probably.”

“Don’t do that.”

But Christ never permits himself or the things of God to be jumbled around like a Magic 8 Ball. Take, for example, his conversation with the woman he meets at the well in Samaria.

In just a few short verses, Jesus crosses social boundaries, reveals himself to be the Messiah, and talks about salvation.  But the conversation doesn’t progress like you might think.  Jesus takes the Samaritan woman’s question and flips it around her, telling her what she should be asking.

“If you knew who it was to whom you were speaking…” he says.

And then she says, “Say, there’s something we’ve always wondered about. We Samaritans say we should worship here, and you Jews say you should worship there, and—”

“Wrong question,” says Jesus. I set the agenda here.  I need to teach you even the right questions to ask, because you will not stumble onto even the right questions based on your own needs and circumstances.

Discipleship is not about us answering the questions that interest others about Jesus.

It’s not about us doing Scripture therapy to apply the right verse to whatever else those who speak to us. It’s about Jesus the medical professor. He sets the curriculum. We teach it. Others learn it. We all apply it.

“Teach them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

“Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

That’s how we roll. We surrender the agenda of our own needs and concerns in order to prioritize growth to fullness in Christ. And that means disciplining ourselves to sacrifice chatty personal conversations and have redemptive, Christ-centered ones instead.

What do you think? Are there other differences between therapy and discipleship?  Do the two ever overlap and, if so, where?

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